


I Think You Need a Little Fucking Practice (Rated R For Everyone)

by jormaperalta



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, You probably shouldn't read this, aka there will be a lot of swearing in this so if you don't like that, as they should be, basically just the gang being silly 13-year-olds, set post all the drama and angst, will and el are back safe and sound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:37:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jormaperalta/pseuds/jormaperalta
Summary: The boys decide it's time to teach El curse words.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly fluffy fic I wrote at work. I hope you enjoy! And also massive thanks to @sstrangerthaneleven/cerulean storm for being amazing and helping me with this! You made it a million times better, I adore you.

“El doesn’t need to be learning this,” Will says, frowning.

Dustin huffs at him. Ever since El came back and moved in with Chief Hopper and then they moved in with the Byers’, Will has gotten fiercely protective of their psychokinetic peer.

It used to be just Mike who was absurdly worried about her well-being (far past normal), now it’s Dustin and Lucas versus Will and Mike to decide how they handle things with El. And since El adores Mike, she always sides with him. He _hates_ being outnumbered.

But, luckily, Mike’s not back yet. It’s just the four of them in the Wheelers’ basement.

“I wasn’t teaching her anything! Yet,” Dustin says slyly, but then fakes innocent with a shrug. “And even if I do teach her, she doesn’t have to use them.”

“Ever since Mike taught her ‘mouthbreather,’ she uses it all the time,” Will reminds him. “And that’s super tame.”

“I _know_ , I talk with her,” Dustin rolls his eyes. “But she at least needs to know they exist.”

“Let’s ask her,” Lucas says, and they turn to El, who’s sitting at the fifth chair at the D&D table, reading a book that Nancy got her from the library.

She looks up. “Yes?”

“Do you wanna learn curse words?” Lucas asks her.

“Curse words?” She asks.

“Like mouthbreather, but meaner and more awesome and cooler,” Dustin tries to explain. He smirks as he sees her eyes light at the possibility.

“But they’re also rude,” Will adds, being a wet blanket. “They’re impolite and mean.”

“But fun,” Lucas adds.

Damn, it feels great to be winning an argument again. He missed it.

“What do you say, El?” Dustin asks. “Do you wanna learn some curse words?”

She looks at each of them before shrugging. “Yes.”

“Ha!” Dustin cheers victoriously, pointing at Will who sticks his tongue out at him. He focuses on El again. “Awesome okay.”

Then he pauses and turns to Lucas and Will, “How do you teach someone curse words?”

“Jesus Christ, Dustin,” Will says under his breath, rubbing his hands down his face.

“Ah, see, that’s a curse word,” Dustin says.

El’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, “I thought he was a person. That’s what Mrs. Wheeler said.”

“Yeah, but people also say that when they’re frustrated. Like what do you say when there are no more Eggos left?”

“Chief, more Eggos,” El says primly.

Lucas laughs near-hysterically while Will grins and Dustin beams. “That’s awesome, but like if you’re frustrated, you can say ‘Jesus Christ, there are no more Eggos.’”

She nods.

“Try it,” He encourages her gently.

“Jesus Christ, there are no more Eggos,” She repeats dutifully. “Jesus Christ, Dustin,” She says again, to Will’s smirk. Then she bounces in her seat, smiling. “Other ones?”

“Yeah, you can also say ‘dammit,’” Lucas says. “That works when you’re frustrated or angry too.”

“Chief says that one,” El says. “When there are no more cancer sticks.” That’s what she calls cigarettes and what she will _only_ call cigarettes, since she’s trying to get Joyce and Hopper to quit by guilting them into it. Seriously, her puppy-dog eyes are _lethal_.

“Try it,” Dustin says.

“Dammit,” El says then smiles again. “This is fun.”

“Oh no,” Will says, but he’s hiding his own smile.

“Remember when we were at the school,” Lucas says. “Before you disappeared?” The smile goes away, so Lucas talks quicker to get the point across, “When the Bad Men had us surrounded, I told them to ‘eat shit.’”

“I remember, Lucas,” She says.

“Well, that’s a pretty rude one,” Lucas says, scratching at his neck, feeling bad for bringing it up. “But shit basically means poop-” Her nose scrunches up, but he continues, “And telling them to eat it is basically telling them to-”

“You’re not actually telling them to do that?” El checks. “Because that’s gross.”

Dustin laughs, almost falling off his chair.

“No, you’re telling them they’re being mouthbreathers,” Lucas explains once Dustin quiets down enough. “And that you want them to go away.”

“So I’d say that to Troy?” She checks.

“Damn right,” Dustin says. “Oh, and damn is awesome too. You can say damn when something sucks, but you can say ‘damn right’ when something is awesome.”

She pouts, “That’s confusing.”

“We never said this would be easy,” Dustin tells her. Will leans over and smacks him. Rubbing his shoulder, Dustin amends, “We’ll help you when you use them, promise.”

She smiles.

“Oh, but speaking of,” Will says. “You can _never_ say these around any of our parents, or any adult really.”

“Why?”

“Because the words are rude, but you’re allowed to say them around friends,” Lucas explains. “Parents don’t like it when their kids swear, so don’t say the words around them.”

“So just you guys?”

“Yeah, you’re always allowed to swear around friends,” Dustin says.

“Except for maybe Mike,” Lucas snickers and Dustin laughs at Will, who winces at the idea.

“Why can’t I swear around Mike?” El asks. “We’re friends.”

Dustin and Lucas start laughing. Hard. Even Will looks like he’s about to lose it.

Still giggling, Dustin explains, “He might not like it-”

“Because you’re more than friends,” Lucas says, under his breath.

Dustin elbows him and talks over him, “But we’ll find out.”

El shrugs, seeming to accept that.

“Okay, so which ones have we taught you?” Dustin says. “I already forgot,” He says to Lucas’s incredulous stare.

“Jesus Christ, dammit, eat shit, shit, damn, and damn right,” El lists.

“Do you have a favorite yet?” Will asks.

She pauses in thought, “Dammit.”

“That’s a good one,” Lucas says, then turns to Dustin. “Which one are we forgetting?”

“There are more?” El asks.

“Unfortunately,” Will says.

“The f-word?” Dustin checks, not sure if he should actually say it.

“We are _not_ teaching El the f-word!” Will says, horribly scandalized, causing Lucas to cackle at his reaction.

"What’s the f-word?” El asks. They’re all too busy laughing. She pouts, feeling like she’s being left out. “Will, what’s the f-word?”

Will jumps to answer before Dustin or Lucas can, “It’s the worst word. You’re not ready.”

“I’m ready,” El says, defensive. “I can say it, I can say anything.”

“We know you can,” Lucas says, feeling bad. “It’s just no one should probably say it, at least no one our age.”

“What is it?” El says. “I won’t say it.”

Dustin opens his mouth.

Will says, “Don’t-” but it’s too late.

Dustin says it.

“Fuck,” Dustin says.

“Dustin!” Will huffs, annoyed.

Dustin smacks his hand down on the D&D table, with a large smile on his face to show he knows what a ham he’s being. “She has a right to know!”

“Fuck?” El repeats, disappointed. “That’s it? Chief says ‘fuck’ too.”

“No he doesn’t,” Will says.

“When you and Joyce aren’t around, he does,” El says, causing Will to frown and mentally mark down he has to have a talk with Chief about that, because he _knows_ that his mom hates it when he swears around the kids, especially El.

“So now you know curse words,” Lucas says. “Does that feel awesome?”

“Yes. No wait, damn right.”

“Nice,” Lucas says.

“I feel like I’m forgetting one-” Dustin says, frowning in thought.

“No more!” Will says quickly.

“But when do I say ‘fuck?’” El asks.

“You said you weren’t going to say it,” Will points out. El just shrugs, unrepentant.

“When you’re angry or frustrated,” Lucas answers El. “That’s really when you use any of these words, actually. Like ‘oh fuck! That’s awful!’ But it can be used all sorts of ways-”

“What does it mean?” El asks and Will chokes, causing Lucas and Dustin to actually fall off their chairs because they were laughing so hard.

“Ask Hopper later,” Dustin suggests, wiping tears from his eyes.

“No!” Will snaps. El flinches, so he quickly turns to her and says, with a much softer tone, “I mean, he won’t like that word.”

“He uses it a lot,” El points out.

“Yeah but he won’t like it if _you_ use it,” Will says.

El frowns, “That’s mean.”

“Yeah, kinda,” Lucas says from the floor, still chuckling and holding his abdomen.

“Do you need help up?” El asks, tilting her head to use her powers. She’s not technically supposed to use them without an adult around, but Dustin and Lucas are still on the floor and they might be hurt.

“Whoa-whoa-whoa,” Dustin says as he and Lucas start to float. “You can set us down, El, we’re okay.”

“Okay,” She says and sets them back down and they get on their chairs on their own. “How do I use f-” Will gives her a look so she sighs and then changes it to “The F-Word?” for Will’s benefit.

“It’s a pretty good adjective,” Dustin says. “‘That’s fucking awesome’ or ‘that’s fucking awful.”

“I thought I was supposed to use it when frustrated,” El says.

“It’s very versatile,” Dustin says matter-of-factly. “When you say it as just ‘fuck’ then it’s when something bad happens.”

“You try it,” Lucas encourages.

“El-” Will starts to say but then El says.

“That’s fucking awesome,” She says then smiles. “I like that.”

“Now say ‘I fucking like that’,” Dustin says, enjoying the way Will squirms.

“This isn’t necessary-”

“I fucking like that,” El says.

“What the hell is going on here?” Someone says from the top of the stairs and they all practically break their necks to look.

Mike is now walking down the steps, looking confused and vaguely angry as he studies them all. Will lightly smacks his head against the table. Lucas covers his mouth with his fist. El bites her lip.

But Dustin says, “ _That’s_ the one I forgot.”

“What is going on?” Mike repeats. “El, how do you know that word?”

At a loss, El just points at Dustin.

“Tattletale,” He hisses at her, mostly playful.

“Damn mouthbreather,” She says back.

“How do you know that?” Mike asks. El can't tell if he's angry or not. He sounds very calm.

“Dustin,” She answers again. “I needed to learn.”

Will raises his hand. “I was against this from the beginning-”

“Kiss-ass,” Lucas says.

“We forgot ass!” Dustin smacks his forehead. “We are _bad_ at this.”

“Damn right,” El says and Lucas laughs again.

But then he stops when he sees Mike’s face.

“They were teaching El how to curse,” Will says after an uncomfortable silence. “Just so she knew what the words meant.”

“And you thought _fuck_ was a good thing to teach her?” At the curse word, the other three boys wince. Mike _never_ uses that word, or any swear word, really.

“The whole thing kind of escalated,” Dustin speaks up to explain but Mike’s eyes look over at him with this intense look that honestly almost rivals El’s so Dustin goes quiet.

“Mike,” El says. “Don’t be mad, please. I promise, it was fun. I learned,” She tries to be calm and happy, to calm him down in turn.

She sees him relax a bit, but he still looks frowny.

And, again, an uncomfortable silence.

“What’s that Mrs. Wheeler?” Dustin says, calling up the stairs. “You need us to test the cookie dough?”

“Oh god,” Lucas says, casting his eyes towards toward the ceiling.

“Coming right up! I’m taking Lucas and Will with me, hope that’s good,” As he calls up the stairs, he grabs Lucas by the back of his shirt and Will by the back of his and drags them both up the stairs.

“But I didn’t hear anything,” El says, confused. 

Mike presses his lips together, his instinct to explain everything to her until she understands. Out of sheer pettiness, he wants to deny her that, but he can’t bring himself to. “They were trying to leave without saying they wanted to leave, so they lied about hearing my mom.”

“Why?”

“They wanted us to talk about the swearing thing in private,” He explains.

She looks at him with her wide brown eyes, sparkling in the dim light of the basement. “Mike, I didn’t want to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad I’m just-” He cuts off. He’s not sure what he’s feeling.

“Disappointed?” She frowns. Will always says that’s _worse_ than mad.

“No, never, El,” Mike says then sighs and flops on the sofa. She sits next to him, not touching, but looking at him intently. “I just- I don’t like those words, really, and it sucked hearing you say them.”

“Dustin and Lucas say the curse words,” El says. “I just wanted to learn. I wanted to be normal.”

“I know and that’s great,” He says, but it’s half-hearted. Her struggle with being ‘normal’ and ‘pretty’ is something he’s very familiar with and he always tries to help her with it. “I just- those words are so mean, and you’re good I just never really wanted you to say them, because I just want you safe from them. But it’s kind of stupid-”

“I understand, it’s not stupid,” El says. “And the words won’t hurt me. Promise.”

She sticks out her pinkie. Nancy taught her how to pinkie swear, and she loves doing it.

He smiles at her and hooks their pinkies.

“Promise.”

She pulls him into a hug. She’s much better about touching now, and she always wants to hug her friends, but mostly Mike.

“El! Chief Hopper is here to give you a ride home,” Mrs. Wheeler calls down to them.

The pair walk back up the stairs as the other three boys, Karen and Holly sit around the kitchen helping with groceries.

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Wheeler,” El says. She goes to leave but then she sees that Will didn’t follow her. “Will? Aren’t you coming?”

“Studying for the science test,” Will says, mouth full of Ritz crackers as he gestures to the four boys. He swallows quickly, remembering he’s at the Wheelers’ house and has to have manners. “Jonathan’s giving me a ride later.”

She almost asks if she can stay too, but then she can hear the familiar sound of Chief’s horn, along with feeling his frustration. She knows better than to waste time. “Bye!”

With that, she leaves the Wheelers’ house to go home, armed with an arsenal of knowledge.

+

(Epilogue)

El taps her fingers on the door of Chief’s passenger side door as he drives by Mirkwood. So close to home. She can’t wait to see what Jonathan will cook today and to talk to Joyce about work and watch TV with Chief and Will.

“So what did you do with your friends today?” Chief asks, after turning down the mixtape that Jonathan and Will made for her.

“We had fun,” She says. “I read _Phantom Tollbooth_ and the boys taught me curse words and Mike and I-”

“Curse words?” Hopper asks, eyes looking over at her.

“Eyes on the road,” She tells him.

Exhaling, he listens to her. “What the hell are you doing learning those for?”

“I didn’t get to learn that one,” El says. “But I learned all sorts of other ones. Like damn and dammit and shit and-”

“Jesus Christ-” Hearing her say all those words causes him to jerk the wheel.

With one intense stare, El gets them righted on the road. “I learned that one too,” She says matter-of-factly.

Not feeling in the best headspace to drive, Jim pulls over on the side of the road, not too far from their house. “I should arrest your friends if they’re teaching you that stuff,” He says, scratching his beard with his hand.

“Don’t be fucking mean.”

He just stares at her, mouth agape.

“And also, what does that word mean?”

And at that moment, Chief decides to teach her a new word instead.

 _Grounded_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is standalone but it was originally a sequel piece to my mammoth fic [Time's Just Holding Me Down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8193814) which you can read at the link if you want! I hope you enjoyed this fic and that you have a lovely day! (P.S. originally posted as "rated R for everyone")


End file.
